A long while ago, before I started this blog, I spent a little time wallowing in a mire of self pity. My first draft was taking forever and my writing didn't seem to be improving. I compared myself to so many authors and completed manuscripts. Despairing that I did not have the sensitivity or understanding of so many other writers I asked myself some serious questions. Do I want to be published? Absolutely. Am I good enough to get there? I don’t know. I don’t write just to get published. I have a story, a person, an emotion I want to explore or get to know. That is why I write, but I would like to share the things I've learned by sharing my writing with the world.
Will I ever be as good as Charlote Bronte, Diana Gabaldon, or any of the other talented published or unpublished writers? It's not likely, a girl can dream though. Will I ever be the best I can be? I don’t know. And here is the clinker. If I could see into the future and know I will never be published, know I will never gain the skill level and understanding I want would I keep writing? Yes. Absolutley. I have to. It is how I think, how I process information and emotions.
While I want the end destination of publishing I need the journey writing provides. I would write for me even if no one else ever read my work. And there was my answer. It didn’t matter if I was depressed or despaired of ever being able to write like I wanted. I must write, I will work to improve, I will learn and grow and strive for publication. But if I never achieve my goal, the journey will last my whole life long.