Tuesday, October 29, 2013

So sweet

A couple weeks ago, Ruth, over at Out on a Limb, gave me the sweet blogger award.  I want to say thanks to her for thinking of me.  If you're not familiar with her blog you really should check it out. She's an awesome person.

1. Cookies or Cake?
Cookies definitely.  I like to eat on the go and that's much harder to do with cake.  Plus, I'm not a huge fan of frosting.  I know, several of you may have to recover from shock.

2.Chocolate or Vanilla?
Depends on what it is. 

3. Favorite sweet treat?

4. When do you crave sweet things most?
Right after a meal. I don't feel as if the meal has ended unless it ends sweet. Most days I try to chew gum to get the sweet without the calories. Still, It's a yearning I don't think I'll ever grow out of.

5. Sweet nick-name?
Nope.  Don't really have a nickname at all, unless you count Mommy, and that's the sweetest thing of all to hear.

What about you?  Want to answer one of these questions on the comment section?  Do you like frosting?

Happy Halloween everyone!

Monday, October 21, 2013

Hide and Seek

This last weekend we attended a local Scottish festival.  While there, I found a booth that sold, among other things, some beautiful watercolor pictures. I immediately wanted a dozen of them.  While trying to narrow down the selection my hubby suggested I just take a card and take my time perusing the art on her website.  I asked the people running the stall and ended up being introduced to the artist who happened to be right there. After introductions and polite chit chat I asked about her website, what the selection was like and whether or not I would see some of the small but gorgeous pictures I was trying to choose between.  She laughingly informed me that her website was old, defunct, that there were no paintings listed there, no, she didn’t advertise her showings on the website, she’d been meaning to update for years but had never got around to it.  She ended by saying it hadn’t been a priority because no one had ever contacted her over the internet.

Well, no one’s been able to.

And I would have.

Not only that, I would have shared.  I would have passed her name on to other people I know who would love her style and the sense of nostalgia in her pictures.  But now I can’t.  I did end up buying something there. I’m glad I did. If I had come home and tried to find her online I would have been very disappointed. 

If you have something to sell, make sure there’s a way for people to find it.  Make a website.  If you don’t or can’t sell things from your website then link to places that do. Advertise your showings, signings, or other events.   It doesn’t have to be a website, it can be a blog, facebook, instagram, whatever.  Just find a way for people to be able to buy the product you’re selling.  Make it easy for people to find you, because if they can’t, they’ll find someone else and you’ll be left behind.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Around Town

Move over Write Club, there's a new competition in town. If you live in Peru, that is. They've made writing into a spectator sport, modeling it after wrestling, and now the masked writers compete in front of an audience. The winner? Well, they receive a publishing contract.  Would you compete for that prize? And would you wear the mask?

This article about overcoming obstacles and turning your whine into gold is quite inspirational.

Over here we have a crazy, old school, for words that aren't derogatory...who won't teach books written by women. It's not that he has anything against women in general, they just don't write well enough.  Apparently, women have never written anything worth teaching others about, nor have Canadians, or Chinese.  I've heard he's an amazing writer but I don't think I'll give him a chance.  What about you?

Please don't shoot the messenger.  I am not supporting the ideas in this last article, just giving people a change to see what is out there.  Now, having said that, if you wish to continue, here is one man's opinion on the self publishing bandwagon. An opinion that says self-pubbed authors can't really consider themselves published, or authors.  

Monday, October 7, 2013

Adoption Misconceptions

Today I will be speaking about something that is close to my heart. It might have a touch of rant in it so please bear with me.  I’m struggling with the misconceptions people still have about adoption. Misconceptions that still turn up in books for teens.  Misconceptions that could hurt them. 

As most of you know both my children are adopted and we're currently looking for more children, so I do have very strong feelings about this. 

First and foremost, you do NOT ‘give up’ a child for adoption.  Maybe back in the days when people would hide their pregnancy and never ever see their child again, even then I’m not so sure.  But not now.  Not even close. You place a child with adoptive parents.  You NEVER give that child away. Not only are those words damaging to the child, giving them away is impossible.  Even if a biological parent doesn’t choose to stay in contact with an adopted child that child is a part of them, and they are part of the child. There is no way around that.  You can no more give those pieces away than you can cut them out.

Second, placing the child with adoptive parents IS NOT SELFISH!  I can’t believe that people still believe that! There may be people who do it for selfish reasons but most of the biological mothers I know that have made the choice to place their child for adoption made it because it was best for the child, not best for them.  Honestly, it is the hardest thing anyone can do. Ever.  Imagine carrying around a Christmas present for nine months.  Holding it in your hands, all day, every day, arranging your life around it, feeling the smooth paper, hearing it crinkle, wondering what could be inside. Then, on Christmas morning, without opening it, you give it to someone else and say “here, this is for you.”  But really, that doesn’t even cover the pain and sorrow that is involved because a child is part of you.  Maybe I should have likened it to cutting off a hand and giving it away, but that is a little gruesome. I can’t even describe the anger I feel when I see a mother who chose to place her child for adoption called selfish. And when I see it in a book, where it may influence teenagers I want to cry.  Someone may see it, someone who may choose to keep the child because it’s the ‘noble’ or ‘selfless’ thing to do. And if she’s not ready, if that’s not the best decision, then they both suffer for it.

Mother’s that place their children for adoption are the bravest strongest people I know.  Calling girls that place their children for adoption selfish is not only wrong, it is damaging both to them and the child. It’s an insult because they are being more selfless than most people will ever be. And putting those things in books only propagates the hate and misunderstandings.

Another misconception is that only young or teenage girls place their child for adoption.  It’s not true. Older women, who feel they cannot provide the life they want for a child also make this decision.  The biological mother of both my children is my age. Which means she was in her mid-thirties when they were born.

More and more single/young parents are choosing to keep their child and this is wonderful.  If a mother feels that is best for the child and best for her then I honor her decision and think she’s amazing for facing this challenge. If she chooses to place a child for adoption then she is the best and bravest person I know, and she’s made some adoptive parents so incredibly, indescribably happy. Whatever she chooses, as long as she’s chosen thoughtfully, is the right decision, and I support her.  Honestly, both choices are dang hard and she (and the father if he’s involved) are amazing for doing their best.

If you are facing this decision, good luck to you. Its okay, take your time and make sure you make the best decision for you and your family.  Talk to people you trust who accept you. Your family is a good place to start. If you can’t go there, go to friends. If you don’t have any friends there are agencies and organizations that will help you. If you can’t find one, or don’t feel comfortable there, email me.  Because someone cares about you. Even if it’s only me.