I'm back!

Happy new year everyone! I hope you are all well and rested. 

Between Christmas, house, kids, and life I didn’t get much writing done over the last three weeks. It was okay, I needed the break, but I worried a bit about getting back into it. How hard would it be? Have I lost my words? Should I read it all first to remember what I’m working on? Do I still like my story, my characters?

I let fear put off writing for several days. I hemmed and hawed and found excuses. Finally, I decided, once again, I wanted to be a writer and the only way to do that was to write. So, I opened up my WIP exactly where I left off and started. You know what? It was easy. Almost as if time hadn’t passed. In my first session, I wrote 482 words. Not too shabby.

There are so many times I let fear dictate what I do, when if I just did it, it wouldn’t be so bad. I don’t really do new year’s resolutions but this is something I want to work on this year. Stepping up, stepping out, and just doing.

How do you get back into writing after a break? Anything you’re working on this year?

learning to fail

Last year, before we moved, we had a yard sale. Mini-Engineer decided he wanted to sell something and earn money, too, but he didn’t want to sell any of his own belongings. So he drew a bunch of pictures and offered them to people who came to the sale. For $3 each. Yeah. His belief in his drawing skills may be overrated.

I could have stopped him. I could have told him no. Instead, I let him. Before the sale we talked about how people would be looking for cheap prices, and that they would bargain. Then I stood back and let him try. I knew he would be turned away and rejected. I knew that he would have disappointments, but I also hoped he would have victories. He approached the people on his own, negotiated on his own, though I kept a watchful eye. Some people did buy his pictures, not for $3, but they were sweet and nice and those good points got him through the rejections. Even better, he learned what he can do if he tries, that he can live through rejection, and that he can keep trying after failing.

It was hard to stand back and let him do this on his own. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I know it was in his best interest. I also know it’s a necessary part of his growth. I try to keep this in mind through the query process. This is an important lesson, and hard as it is for me, no matter the outcome, I know I’ll be better at the end of it.

Be

I was sitting at church yesterday and somebody hit me with this little gem.

We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day.

I do not know if this is their quote or if they were quoting someone else, but credit goes to whomever said it.

This quote reminded me of something my grandfather always said, "You dress for the job you want, not the job you have."

Each of these quotes seem to be saying that we can become what we want to be, just by pretending to already be whatever it is we want. Or maybe not pretending, but striving, living the goal. So, if you want to be a writer, you write. If you want to be a dancer, you dance, If you want to be a doctor or lawyer or chef, start now, practice now, take classes now. Live it to become it.

You know the old adage "Practice makes Perfect".

You'll never reach your goal by sitting on the couch and dreaming.

One of the things I liked about the first quote was "each day". Writing one story, one paragraph, isn't enough. You need to keep doing it, keep improving, keep living it consistently. I'm not a stanch believer in the 'you have to write EVERY DAY to be a writer or you'll never succeed' mentality. Sometimes life interferes. And sometimes a field needs to lie fallow so it doesn't get overtaxed and loose all creativity. But you must  be consistent to whatever schedule you devise. You must make time. Start now, or your dreams will pass you by without you becoming what you want to be.

Pathway to success

I was reading a book and came across this little gem.

Overnight success is a myth. I'd been working since I was too young to remember, dedicating myself to the wire, but celebrity can happen overnight.  GIRL ON A WIRE by Gwenda Bond

It's true, people don't get accomplished overnight. My father sent me a quote my freshman year of college.

The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Celebrity can happen overnight. All of a sudden someone's name is everywhere, their book is selling, they're making all sorts of best seller lists and everyone is talking about them. Just because we didn't hear about them yesterday, last month or last year doesn't mean they weren't working towards their goal. Fighting, struggling, feeling depressed and overwhelmed. In otherwords walking the same path we all walk.

Keep it up. Your books are coming, your celebrity may be next. But for now, keep toiling, because you will never reach success without hard work.

Turn, Turn, Turn

One thing I have to remind myself of constantly is that there is a time and place for everything.

Just because I used to do it, is no reason that it is a good idea now.  The things I may do now I never did twenty years ago, and probably won’t do in another 20 years.  Each year of our life is different. We have different needs, health, family, jobs, etc.

Looking back and wondering where the ‘me that used to be’ went is no good. That me doesn’t exist right now.  But I exist. And I like myself. I just can’t live by the same hobbies and goals I used to have.  The things that have dropped by the wayside were let go to make room for better more important things.

And that’s all right.

A little while ago I realized that an author I respect was turning 40.  40!  I hope they don’t take this the wrong way but I thought they were older. This person is barely a year and a half older than I am and has at least a dozen books published.  I guess it was a blow to my ego to realize they were so close to my own age, because what have I accomplished? It's come at an interesting time, as The Engineer and I  have been making plans, giving up on some ideas and accepting new ones. A time of flux.

Everyone takes their own journey. Everyone has their own set of crazy to deal with. To everything there is a season and a time and place for everything.  It’s natural for us to compare ourselves to others, to always long for what we don’t have, or haven’t accomplished yet. Striving to make ourselves better is one of the things that make us human. Or maybe one of the things that make us divine. And perhaps that’s why we have to keep reminding ourselves that there is a time and place for everything, and sometimes just being is enough. 

Do I have talent?

There's a post here at Writer Unboxed titled "Do I have writing talent?" You're asking the wrong question. The post talked about why this question didn't work and posed some different questions that would help us gauge our writing progress.

There have been several times I've seen people come to Compuserve, post some writing, and ask, "Do I have talent? Should I keep writing, or should I give up?" Maybe you've seen this in your writing groups, too.

Writing is a difficult profession.  We all need positive feedback.  We have to have some encouragement because there is a lot of discouragement in the process. But if you have to ask the question "should I give up?" then the answer just might be, yes.

Because there is so much discouragement in writing we have to know, in and of ourselves, that this is what we want to do. That this is what we NEED to do. We have to have the conviction so we can keep going.  If your only commitment is from outside sources maybe you should put down the pen and save yourself a lot of hurt later. Or maybe you just need to take the time, think about what you want and you'll come to that conviction on your own.

Compete much?

I just saw that Business Insider listed 'poets, lyricists and creative writers' as the second most competitive job in the country.

Go us!

Agents are listed at number ten.

The thing I find so amazing is that even though it is competitive, whether we're selling to agents, publishers, or readers, we are still friends.  The writing community as a whole is supportive, friendly and always willing to offer advice. So even if we do have a competitive job, we also have the best co-workers.

Are you a beggar?

In one of her posts (I don't have a link to the specific post. Sorry) Janet Reid said to writers "you are not a beggar at the banquet of publishing".  I mentioned this to The Engineer and said something about writing relationships being a partnership, that it was about trust.  He looked at me queerly and asked if that was what I really believed. 

I'm glad he asked becuase it made me think about it, but, Yes! I do believe writing relationships are a partnership. I want an agent and  publisher who look at me as an equal. It's about trust.  Trust between the reader and writer, the writer and themselves, the writer their agent and publisher.  I am not begging.  I'll keep querying an writing and improving, but I will not beg. This is a business relationship. How can I have the respect of the people I work with if I don't respect myself?

I've never liked the term 'gatekeeper' and I'm not fond of agents who use this term. In fact, I don't query them.  Agents don't offer to represent books they don't think are ready but that's more about business than about keeping someone out of publishing.  Do people look at med school or the MCAT as a gatekeeper?  Maybe. Are they upset about it? No. At least not if they plan on seeing a doctor in the near future.  When seeing a doctor we want someone we can trust with our lives.  It may not be as serious as heart surgery but when we pick up a book don't we want to know it's not going to be a waste of our time and money? Does that make us elitest? Or just practical?

I don't see agents as bouncers at a bar meant to keep out 'undesirables' I see them more as elevator attendants. The people who try to help us get to the right floor, but they can only take us to a floor inside their building.  If we need a floor at a different building then we need a different agent. Or maybe we need a ranch house with no elevator at all.  There are many paths to publishing, and just because one agent isn't right for us doesn't mean that they are throwing us out, it just means we need to try somewhere else, or polish up a little. Not all agents can sell all things. Just like I wouldn't want a podiatrist to do my open heart surgery.


We are not beggars, and agents aren't bouncers.  (In most cases). We just need to find our trusted partner.  I could compare this to dating and finding the 'perfect' spouse but that's a post for another day. Writing is an art, and it's subjective. Because we put our heart into it rejection can hurt. But writing is also a business, and unless we treat it like a business we'll never find the right floor, or the right elevator.