I'm not technically part of the Insecure Writers Group but I did have something I wanted to get out. By making it public I'm owning it. And then I can do something about it.
I used to have so many ideas. Not all of them were good. Not
all of them turned into something, but ideas. I looked at the world and SAW
things.
Now I am empty, blank.
It’s so hard to think of something, to string
words together. Where did my ideas go? Where did my seeing go? I have to wonder
what is wrong with me, will I ever get them back. What if I don’t? What if I’m
a fraud and I’m reworking the same ideas over and over again? What if there is
nothing more to me?
I hope this is probably stress talking, and the
preoccupation I have with finishing this house. This move that has been happening
for two years has really hit me in the writing department. I can only hope that
if I keep plugging along, and once all the stress has gone back to normal, I’ll
get my ideas back.
Hmm, have you ever watched the film Kiki's Delivery Service? The protagonist in that movie has a similar (though at the same time radically different) issue toward the end. It might be helpful to see how she fights against the issue. Maybe.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the suggestion!
DeleteI imagine it's perhaps an emotional state that could tie to real life things you're dealing with. Maybe you just need to enjoy reading or watching movies again--and asking those fun "what if" questions. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI actually have done more reading, just to try and de-stress. Awesome if it helps with my writing, too.
DeleteIt's totally stress. Give yourself some time for sanity, a little peace, and then slowly feed the beast. It will come back. I promise. (Because I've been there.)
ReplyDeleteGood to know survival is possible!
DeleteYou've got a lot going on now and that can make it hard to come up with ideas. Watch TV and movies and read books that inspire you to relax and I'm sure you'll come up with ideas. Breaks are good, especially in busy times.
ReplyDeleteI know, it just feels like I'm taking more breaks than actually doing anything.
DeleteI agree with what everyone else has already said. Not only are you dealing with a boatload of stress about the house, but you're compounding it by giving yourself a hard time about not coming up with any fresh ideas at the moment. ("I want an idea, and I want it NOW!!!") Relax. Your must hasn't deserted you. She's just busy helping you with the house right now. The ideas will return. In the meantime, read, read, read. :)
ReplyDeleteUm, that should be "MUSE hasn't deserted you." (sheesh)
DeleteI knew what you meant. Sorry it took me so long to reply. I did go through a period where I was giving myself a very hard time. I'm become more zen about what I get done, I just worry I won't ever get back to where I was.
DeleteYou need to take time off and refill the creative well.
ReplyDeleteI probably do.
DeleteStress will do that. Creativity and that special 'sight' work best in a relatively relaxed environment. No, this isn't all there is to you. Yes, you will get it back.
ReplyDeleteAh, insecure writers really do help with those insecurities. I'm feeling much better. I'm pretty sure I'll relax again. At some point.
DeleteI think it's hard to switch from the real world to the fictional word. Add in a little stress and I cannot even come up with a Facebook post. Then I worry about the lack of words and they hide even harder.
ReplyDeleteSo true.
DeleteFirst of all--{{{{hugs}}}}. Second, I think you'll get them back. I've been through this fast time and time again due to family stress. Hang in there, Sara!
ReplyDeleteHugs back to you! You've had a lot of family stress, good to know we can get through it. Thanks for always being there for me.
DeleteFirst, cut yourself some slack. Second, allow yourself to write crap. Doesn't matter what it is, just write. Even if it's for ten minutes a day. Get back in the habit of mind/keyboard connection. Now, I'm off to take my own advice. ;0)
ReplyDeleteAllowing myself to just write whatever without worrying about it being good is probably just what I need. So hard to do, though.
DeleteDon't worry, the ideas are there, they're just blocked by the stress. Once that has lifted, the ideas will pour out - so be prepared with a pen and paper and get them written down. Good luck, Sara and don't force it. It will return - I promise.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I can't wait for them to pour out again.
DeleteOoh, this happened to me some years ago, and lasted for quite a few years. I began to worry, really worry. Probably what I should have done was keep writing and working away at other stories I already had, instead of which, I let things slide. Not good! Some of the things that helped me fill the well and get unstuck were reading Stephen Fry's book about poetry, The Ode Less Travelled, participating in all sorts of exercises on the Forum, jumping into the houseparties, and, once I had a couple of characters, doing the A to Z exercise for each of them...
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your moving situation.
ReplyDeleteYou will get your ideas back. Maybe you can write down some of them as they return.
I think of ideas as little seeds. When we water them with some attention, they will sprout.
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