Beautiful Novel what’s wrong with us? Our relationship used to be so good. Remember the days when I would ignore everything and everyone just to be with you. Every spare five minutes were dedicated to you. We got along so well. Now more often than not you stand with your back to me, arms crossed, and I have to plead and work my way into your graces. Sometimes you shut me out completely.
You used to fling open the door and pull me inside, opening yourself up to me, showing me the wonder of your stories. Remember? Now you allow me glimpses. Then, just as I start to think we understand one another, capricious, you slam the door in my face refusing me entrance to your soul. I sweat and ache trying to write what I saw, desperately wanting it to be good enough for you to open the door again.
Should we get help? I know some crit groups….
Those other bright shinny ideas meant nothing to me. I didn’t ask them to come, they just showed up. I don’t respond to the other characters that talk in my head. Most of the time. And that time you found me with a different notebook I only jotted down a few ideas, mere sentences. I’ll always be yours Novel. I won’t leave you for a newer idea that doesn’t have our troubled past, tempting though that might be.
Do you resent my necessary existence in the real world? I have people who depend on me, but don’t worry, I’m always thinking of you. So come on, let’s work together. The kids are napping, all my time is yours.
Dear SP ... do you think I don't know that you have long term plans that don't include me?
ReplyDeleteThat you are plotting to put me in the hands of 'others' who will reduce me to a statistic on a sales forecast? And eventually become just another item on your 'backlist'?
I've talked to other novels, don't think I haven't. They've told me stories that would make your pages curl. About how its all-night sessions and intimate dialogue in the beginning. But then, just when we can relax and think you understand us, we're relegated to the re-write file.
Well, I'll have no more of it I tell you! We will do this on my terms or not at all.
The choice is yours.
Well, there you are, now shall we ...Huh!... isn't that one of the kids waking up a little, early?
It wasn’t like that. Those other novels weren’t good enough, strong enough. They weren’t ready and we both knew that. I never showed them to anyone. Now they’re forgotten somewhere on the hard drive. I never made backups or multiple versions, never even considered hard copies. You’re different.
ReplyDeleteWhen you’re ready you’ll go out into the world. I know it’s scary. I’ve heard about a place called “The Slush Pile”, shudder. You may be passed around a little, maybe even rejected, but it will only make you stronger. And eventually we’ll find someone who loves you like I do.
When that happens, when you find a home as a published novel you’ll be out of my hands, but then I’ll be able to work on your sequels. You wouldn’t want to be alone would you? You’ll want your family with you. I’ll do it your way, as long as we can do it.
As for the kids, there’s always TV.
SP! Hilarious how we authors think of our novels and nonfictions as cherished children and spouses. It's hard letting go...far easier with children.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading and commenting. It is like a family member. I spend more time with my novel than with my husband some days. (He works long hours) Though I did have a few other novels that were easy to let go of. They were really bad.
ReplyDelete