I'm not officially part of the insecure writers group but as I read more and more of their posts today I realized I did have something to add. Last night as I was winding down on my MS, getting so close I can almost touch the tape at the ending line, I had a realization. I hate my WIP. I'm so sick of it. And the closer I get to finishing the more I find wrong with it. I'm so close to done yet I find that instead of getting a burst of speed, I'm going slower and slower. At one point last night I said out loud "Worst. Writing. Ever." Husband raised his eyebrows and said "You're talking about the old writing right? Not what you're doing now." the sad thing is I was thinking of all of it. Old, new, my writing in the future. It's all bad. I'm not digging around for compliments I'm just trying to exorcise this feeling that if I look at one more word I'll run screaming into the woods and become nothing more than the legend of the crazy Georgia lady who throws books at teenagers who get lost in my woods.
Actually I do feel a little better. But by the end of the month this thing is going out on query, bad writing or not.
I can so relate to this. I think we can be our biggest obstacles at times. I admire your determination, keep at it, stay positive and everything will work out. (:
ReplyDeleteThanks, people do tend to be their own biggest obstacles don't they? We're all just crazy.
DeleteSara, We all go through this. My hubby makes be pull some of the really old stuff and lets me read and shake my head at how good it really is _now_. Take a break and let the story leave your head for a while. Why don't you take a break from this story for awhile.
ReplyDeleteA break is what I need, it's just hard when I'm so close.
DeleteStop! Stop! Stop! Don't revise another word. You're writing is excellent. Don't believe those doubt monsters. Put it away for a while before you query. You need to query (and revise) from a place of enthusiasm, not doubt. Trust me.
ReplyDeleteAlso, in a strange twist, I blogged about this same topic. You're not alone. Turns out published authors go through the same thing. So, know that getting sick of your WIP is part of the process. The trick is to take a break from it at that point, and to try to get as much done as possible before you hit that wall.
Thanks, Sara.
DeleteI agree with Sara Walker. :)
ReplyDeleteYea, she's awesome.
DeleteYou crack me up. I agree with Sara as well. STOP IT!!!! As writers we have that nagging parasite telling us we suck. But we don't. You don't. Keep going!
ReplyDeleteIt was pretty melodramatic wasn't it. :)
DeleteI can't relate to not liking my current WIP, but I can relate to pushing it out on query no matter what. I'll be suffering in queryland with you.
ReplyDeleteSee you there :)
DeleteI hear ya. That is how I felt about the book I'm querying now. I had revised it and edited SO many times I didn't want to read it ever again. But since it's been a while since I've opened it, I think I'm ready to like it again. So my best advice--Time.
ReplyDeleteYea, time is what I need. It's just hard to stop when you're so close.
DeleteRemember that book you read that had you mocking the writing out loud? We all have one...two...a dozen? When I feel this way about my writing, I find one of those books, and I start reading them. Then I re-read my stuff. I almost always feel better.
ReplyDeleteLol, that is such a good idea! I'm so doing that instead of writing tonight.
DeleteKeep going! How often do you read any book 10 times in a row? You are going to start seeing faults (even if none exist). I remember a letter my husband wrote to me the first time he was in Iraq. The first time I read it I was so elated to have a letter from him that the letter was perfect and everything I wanted to hear. The second time I noticed one spelling mistake. By the time I had read it several times I had a dozen spelling mistakes, and several more grammatical errors, that jumped out at me every time. I even started questioning if his words had double meaning. I finally had to put the letter away. When I looked at it again several months later I loved it again. The love was always still there but I just let my critical brain take over. Even though my husband's letter actually DID have problems I think you get my point. Don't over-analyze something you used to love (that is the key to a happy marriage, too).
ReplyDeleteSo true, for both the writing and the marriage. I'm definitely over analyzing. It's a downward spiral.
DeleteThanks everyone for your nice words and your advice. It's good to hear others can feel like this too and that I'm not alone.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel. I'm going around and around on the same wheel as you! Don't give up- some agent out there will love it! We have to believe that.
ReplyDeleteYes, I need to cling to that belief. Thanks.
DeleteI'm so glad I'm not the only one who goes through this. It's always worse when you read a book by an awesome author. The cure? Read a book by an not-so-awesome author. :D
ReplyDeleteIt is good to know I'm not the only one. Tasha suggested that too. I know what I'm doing tonight instead of writing. :)
DeleteIf it helps, I feel a bit better knowing I'm not the only person having this reaction night after night. Man, do I suck! But you definitely don't :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks, You don't either. I guess we all see our own faults so clearly. When you're wallowing send me an email, I'll cheer you up!
DeleteSara - Boy can I relate. One good insight that comes from our frustration, is it shows that we have high standards and want to write a quality piece of work. If you know you have given your very best effort, that in itself is a victory. My guess is that you are seriously short-changing yourself!
ReplyDeleteThanks, We'll find out when we query.
DeleteLOL! Okay, I'm laughing at the image of the crazy Georgia lady throwing books at teenagers. hahaha. That's brilliant. But the rest is normal... I think. I know I feel that way from time to time. What you need is a little break. A break from your WIP and writing. It'll help you feel refreshed when you get back to it. And it's okay to take a break, even if you are so close to the end. :)
ReplyDeleteI took a break yesterday and today. I think I'm getting my happy back and I'll finish it up next week.
DeleteI totally have a rhythm of loving and hating my books. ALL of them.
ReplyDeleteI also have a rhythm in thinking I'll never make word count.
But I seem to.
Funny.
It is funny that we can repeat the same fears and thoughts book after book, even though it was fine last time.
Delete