I’ve spent a lot of time recently wondering why I’m writing. It has been a very stressful, busy time and my writing has been shoved aside. Add to that the fact that I’m working on my query and writing just isn’t fun anymore. So why do I do it? Why do I still stress over finding time? Why do I feel as if I’ve lost something when I don’t even want to do it?
Because it’s part of me. It’s who I am.
I can’t stop. But I can change how I write. I’ve made time for some fun writing. Family history, drafting a new story, notes on meetings and places I’ve been. This way I don’t feel just the drudgery of query and copy edits. (If you don’t think finding all the lost commas is drudgery then I don’t want to know)
I’ve also made time to read. Reading has saved my sanity. It gives me a bit of time outside the stress and worry, it helps me relax and realize that there is more to life than this, and that I don’t want to miss it. It also boosts my desire to write. When I find a good book, I want, I need, to create something as beautiful. The more I read, the greater my desire to write. The greater my desire to live.
I’ve seen this happen in my life before. I get busy, reading gets interrupted and pushed back and forgotten. I go crazy. I start reading again. I am nice to people again. You’d think I’d learn and just not stop reading.
Reading doesn’t replace living. It just gives me a place to take a deep breath and prepare to go back out into the world. And in this time of farewells and new beginnings I need something that’s constant.
Is it this way for anyone else? Do you have a special book or author that saves you in times of stress? Are there new books or authors you’ve discovered recently? I’d love to hear about them. I still have a long way to go.